FOCUS: THE DETERMINANT OF REALITY
In an emerging world of ubiquity, focus is an element that is mostly inexistent and rarely promoted. Most of us have simply forgotten and unlearned the art of being focused. We, consciously or most often unconsciously, are now lovers of multi-tasking and ubiquity. The lack of focus has had quite unfavorable effects on the totality of us as individuals. We, however, do not see the negative consequences as a result of a lack of focus, but if we can look closely, it is clear that the symptoms present are a result of a subtle disease, which is a lack of focus.
Funny enough, the lack of focus has become present in all aspects of living, but the addressing of the issues of focus in various aspects of living is sure to positively impact our outlook towards life and ultimately lead to a good life.
IDEALISM
Focus in all its conceptions has to do with the mind and thinking of the individual, so to properly understand focus, it is beneficial to examine the mind and its conceptions. Idealism is a philosophical perspective that posits that ideas, which are obviously postulations of the mind, are the basis of reality. This is a concept that a lot of people have problems accepting. It is easier to align with the more tangible evidence of materialism, determinism, and empiricism rather than the seemingly intangible ideas of idealism, free will, and rationalism. I believe the postulations and conceptions of the mind are quite active in influencing reality, but this does not downplay the materialist, determinist, and empiricist points of view. Both sides are equally valid in every scenario if properly examined. The world of idealism should not be viewed as contrasting with that of materialism; they should be viewed as a cycle and a circle that influences and determines reality.
The mind is actually a powerful force that can both manipulate and affect reality. Superficially, this might look quite silly, but I do believe that statement to be true. I believe reality can be effectively modified by idealism. Since idealism is the product of the mind and the mind is the instrument through which we perceive the world, the conception of the mind can affect what we refer to as reality. It is quite obvious that we all do not perceive reality the same way or even as it is, and this is due to the idiosyncrasies of the mind.
I believe that we are mostly unconsciously transcendental idealists, even though we think we are empirical and materialist, and this is because we perceive the material with our minds. We most often view and examine things based on how they appear rather than how they actually are, especially experiences and occurrences. Though this might seem bad, it can be beneficial. A striving to be consciously transcendental can help in the positive manipulation of reality.
WHAT THE MIND FOCUSES ON DETERMINES ITS REALITY
In the book, The Courage to Be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, which is heavily hinged on Adlerian psychology, the authors take us on a journey explaining the power of the individual in influencing his own happiness and satisfaction in life. I spoke with someone who had total disdain for the idealistic approach taken by the book. I am not in agreement with the disdain. Take, for example, getting angry. When someone gets you angry, it follows a cause-and-effect scenario. The cause of the anger is the other person, and upon receiving the stimuli, it is natural that you get angry.
Albeit, following the trajectory of the book, the fact that you got angry is simply in your hands and not the fault of the seeming causer of the anger. This superficially looks ludicrous, but I do agree with it. Anger is an emotion that an individual would not want to be a constant element in his or her life, so it is best to avoid anger. Actions taken in anger are not always the best; they complicate the issue, and anger leaves you feeling exasperated and stressed. So, it is not what you would want to be enthralled by. Since this is the case, why leave the determinant of your anger in the hands of other people?
When provoked, there is the ability to ignore the stimuli, not focus on them, and focus on other, better things. It is when you focus on those stimuli that you flare up and become irritated, but it is possible to control such irritation and focus on better things, even though it can be quite difficult. Not focusing on anger will leave you in a better place as an individual. The difference between a frustrated, exasperated, and stressed-out angry person and one who is not angry in the presence of the same provoking stimuli is simply the target of focus. The target of focus determined the reality. This is, however, not psychological but philosophical because it does not follow the seeming natural order of things. When things go bad, we should not let it, and this we can do by tapping into our idealistic power of manipulating reality.
This can be extended to other occurrences and experiences in life. Either you choose to focus on the positive or negative, it determines how you would be as an individual. In a good situation, if you focus on the negative, you will not be in a good place, and it’s the same vice versa.
I applied this to myself, and I will share my experience even though this is something that I do not like to do. The semester has become quite strenuous for me because my living conditions are not ideal. Firstly, I stay in the school hostel with four individuals in room, a small room. Secondly, there is bedbug infestation in the hostel in conjunction with mosquito bites that make sleeping almost impossible at night despite the use of mosquito repellant. Thirdly, my roommates cook late in the night or at midnight. When I am trying to sleep, the heat and sounds of cooking make it even more difficult to sleep, and sometimes I go days without sleeping at night.
On a particular day in the late morning at church, I suddenly started feeling sweaty and tired. Then suddenly I was dizzy, and I almost fell down. I sat down for some minutes to gain my composure and wondered what could be wrong. It then occurred to me that I had not been sleeping well for about three nights, which was caused by the convalescence of the aforementioned issues. I was so frustrated and angry. I put a call to my mother and told her in Yoruba, “O ti su mi,” meaning, “I am tired.” She replied, “Ma je ko su e,” which translates to “Don’t be frustrated by it.” I decided to follow through with her words. I told myself that I would not let myself be frustrated and that I would persevere.
Throughout the course of the day, I intentionally tried to be positive, and at night, I used my mosquito repellant and went to bed. For the first time in a very long time, I had a relatively good sleep, and this I attribute to the fact that I did not focus on the bad side of the situation.
(Take note: relatively good sleep. Mosquitoes and bedbugs still bite me, and my room is still terribly hot and crammed, and it is neither a good nor comfortable experience, regardless of perspective, but there is nothing I can do about it materialistically. A positive outlook did not make the issues disappear but made them slightly manageable and took from them the power to deeply affect me on a psychological and emotional level.)
So even though things may not be so favorable, your focus determines the level to which they affect you. Do you accept to be what has happened to you, or do you choose what you want to become?
DO NOT CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING
Caring about everything is a big obstacle to focus. We sometimes care too much about things that should not matter to us. We care about what every person thinks, what everyone else does, and what should be the norm. Though it is important to sometimes analyze these in certain scenarios, the constant consideration of all these things in the long run is definitely a disadvantage.
The constant fear and worry of failure, rejection, and not meeting people’s expectations restricts the self from achieving its best form. We lack the ability to focus on what truly matters to us, and all we do is consider the opinions that should not matter to us.
Caring about everything discourages the discovery of the self and steals the originality of the person. We are different people, and while some things are universal, others are not. When we apply things that should not apply to us simply because we have failed to know ourselves, we do ourselves a lot of impediment in achieving our original selves.
This becomes a cycle; we care so much about others that we fail to discover ourselves, and the lack of self-discovery makes us apply things that we should not to ourselves, and it goes on and on.
When the discovery of the self is present and an identity is formed, it becomes possible to stand your ground irrespective of the opinions of others and then focus deeply on what actually matters.
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